Crouching Brokeback Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the Mountain
(Tomi Swick – A Night Like This)

Most people use coffee as an afternoon brain stimulant. I find it doesn’t really work for me. It does however act as a great laxative. I use coffee to stimulate afternoon bowel movements. While people are normally hitting the 3 o’clock wall, I’m usually passing the 3 o’clock log. Does anyone feel awkward with their pants down or is that just me? I guess that’s why they say "Never get caught with your pants down." Ahh, I love Fridays! No Friday is complete without me sharing vile moments of naked vulnerability with you.

Has anyone seen Brokeback Mountain yet? I haven’t but the Oscar buzz has me intrigued. And why wouldn’t there be an Oscar buzz around a movie where cowboys say things like, "God, I wish I knew how to quit you!" to each other. If you don’t know what Oscar material is, that’s it. If you were to say that to a girl, with a straight face, you’d have her eating out of the palm of your hands.

A friend of mine just told me Ang Lee was already starting on a sequel to this movie. I think it’s called "Crouching Brokeback Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the Mountain". The first gay kung-fu movie. There are so many gay movies "coming out"!! Pretty soon we’ll be seeing gay action adventures, gay horror movies and gay romantic comedies. I wonder which gay partner is going to dread watching the gay equivalent of a "chick flick". Hopefully no one takes these comments as homophobia, because they aren’t. I’m just trying to point out what a fun sexy time it is to be gay.